


Safe Places

by orphan_account



Series: Soft and Warm [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Caregiver Alex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Embarrassed John, Little John - Freeform, Modern Era, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Polyamory, some tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-14 15:05:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16915155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It was supposed to be a date. Their first, to be exact. Dinner and a movie for three in Alexander's apartment. Easy enough, right?Easy enough, unless you're John Laurens.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing about age play / regression, though I've done quite a bit of reading. Please be gentle? And enjoy!

Under normal circumstances, John would have considered a text from Eliza Schuyler promising a speedy arrival and a bag full of Chinese food as a good thing.

Unfortunately, things could never be ‘normal’ with John.

It wasn’t just the fact that he had silently been pining after his boyfriend’s girlfriend for a month now, or that the two of them had finally caught on and invited him to join them. It wasn’t even that there had been no discussion of sex. No. It was the fact that he had to take a perfectly good thing - a night like tonight - and completely ruin in by freaking the hell out.

Alexander had been out in the living room tidying things up when it began. This ‘three person’ thing was new to all of them, he thought it would be best if they started things off at his house, since John and Eliza only knew each other through him. As he unfolded the futon and queued up Netflix, John sat alone in the bedroom, trying to keep himself together.

Why did it have to be now?

“You alright?”

It took him a second too long to pry his eyes from the window and move them towards Alexander’s concerned face. He mustered a weak smile.

“Yeah. Fine. Just nervous, I guess.”

_Just nervous. As per usual._

Alexander furrowed his eyebrows. John cursed mentally; somehow he had always been able to tell when he was lying.

“Sure about that?” Alexander asked as he sat down beside him on the mattress.

John shrugged roughly, shaking the question off. The nervous energy inside of him had been building all week. He could feel it in his brain. If it wasn’t just the fact that it was Eliza who was coming, it was that he had Alexander to please as well, and if not that it was work and if it wasn’t work it was something else. This had been a terrible idea.

Nevertheless, he cleared his throat and tried to assure his boyfriend that everything was fine, goddamnit.

“Yeah.”

Because what was he supposed to say? That they had to call the whole thing off just because he was getting cold feet? No! He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. It played like a loop inside his mind, around and around. He wasn’t going to mess this up. He wasn’t going to mess this up. He wasn’t going to be weird at a time like this this wasn’t the time this wasn’t the place and he wasn’t-

He wasn’t breathing anymore. Sometimes he did that when it all became to much. Some part of him thought that if he stayed still and held his breath, the whole world will stay still, too. It never did. And it usually made Alexander annoyed. Like now.

Or maybe not.

In his internalized panic, John hadn’t even realized that Alexander had been speaking to him. He tried to focus his eyes on a the rug below his feet, hoping that he could reenter the conversation without issue.

“-know you’ve been stressed out for days and you know I hate to see you like this-”

Alexander was being nice, but nice wasn’t what John needed right now. He was barely holding on as is.

He tried to open his mouth to say something in response, but Alexander talked over him, trying to soothe him with a soft hand on his shoulder.

“You want to know what I think is going on?”

_No._

John swallowed thickly.

“What?”

“I think you’ve been holding back for too long,” Alexander said, almost whispering now, “but you can let go, John, it’s alright-”

Almost at once, John’s entire body went rigid. He sat up as straight as possible, fists clenched, eyes wide. He looked at Alexander partially out of one part anger and another part fear.

“No,” he said loudly.

Alexander furrowed his eyebrows, eyes kind.

“John-” He didn’t even want to entertain whatever was coming next.

The answer was no.

“No, Alex!”

He meant to snap, but it came out more like a whine.

Things were going downhill, and fast. He started to panic. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.

Alexander, however, was hardly sharing in his concern. Instead, he appeared to be trying to speed the process along.

“No, no, no,” he said, trying to ease John’s obvious upset, “it’s alright. It’s alright. You’ve been big for so long, baby, it’s okay-”

“No it’s not!” John practically growled, pulling away from his boyfriend violently, “and it’s not gonna happen, so stop!”

His cheeks were flushed dark, but he barely noticed over his heavy breathing. He was slipping, he knew, but damned if he was about to admit it.

“Okay,” said Alexander, standing up, his arms in the air in surrender, “you don’t have to. Can you come here, though, and just take some deep breaths for me? Please?”

Embarrassed at the fact that he needed to be coached like this, but knowing that he had to stop acting like this, John did as he was asked.

“That’s it,” said Alexander, “there we go.”

John took a big breath in, but stuttered as he let it out. This wasn’t working the way he’d hoped it would. Calm as he was, things had started to slow down around him. He was so far gone, and they both knew it.

"That's it," he said again, "why don't we get you in something more comfortable, huh? For movie night?"

John nodded wordlessly. Alexander reached into the dresser for a t-shirt and a pair of joggers. He tossed them onto the bed, and motioned for John to take a step closer. He clumsier on his feet now than he had been a moment ago. 

Alexander helped him out of his sweater and jeans, holding onto his elbow to help him stay upright. 

“She’s not gonna like this,” John said quietly as Alexander turned to grab something from the bed.

Alexander looked at back at him.

“Eliza?"

"Mhmm."

He bent down with the bottoms scrunched up, offering two shortened leg-holes for John to step into, one after the other.  

"Why wouldn't she?"

John avoided Alexander's eye and talked to his knees. 

“She’ll think it’s gross.”

Alexander looked up at him, sympathy in his eyes. 

“I promise she won’t think that, John. I’ve known Eliza for a long time. Trust me - she’ll think it’s sweet.”

He pulled the sweatpants up over John's hips.

“Look,” he said, gesturing at his clothes, “nothing gross about this. You look exactly like you do when you’re big.”

John wasn’t quite convinced.

“It’s different,” he whined quietly, “she’s still gon’ know.”

Alexander sighed.

“You’re still the same sweet boy,” he said, “only now you just need a few more snuggles and a little more help, right? That’s all. How could anyone be mad at that?”

John didn't answer, but he let Alexander pull a shirt over his head without complaint. He giggled when Alexander kissed him lightly on the cheek, then leaned it closer to touch their noses together. 

Alexander's phone buzzed in his pocket. He checked it and clicked his tongue. Even when he was little, John knew what this had to mean. Eliza was nearly here. 

“How about this," Alexander started, sensing the sudden change in John, "you can stay here when she first gets here, and I’ll tell her what’s going on, so she’ll know what to expect. And then, when you’re ready, you can come out and have dinner with us and help pick out a movie, alright?”

John considered this for a second, then nodded his head yes.

Dinner and a movie were hard to resist.


	2. Chapter 2

 Alexander disappeared from the bedroom to buzz Eliza in and meet her in the foyer, leaving John alone in the bedroom once again. He sat down on the ground and leaned against the door. His right hand found its way to his mouth, where he bit down on the edge of his thumb. Things were gonna be fine. Alex  _said_ they were gonna be fine. 

He heard footsteps. The sound of the front door opening and shutting. Alexander's voice, muffled through the walls. Eliza's bated questions. 

Questions about him. 

He leaned closer so that he could listen in, but it still sounded funny. Maybe they were being especially quiet so they didn't hurt his feelings. 

Because they knew he'd be such a baby.

He shrunk in on himself, cheeks reddening. He didn't mean to make everything so confusing and weird. He just wanted a night in, same as them. 

Alexander and Eliza's voices changed outside. John could make out kitchen noises too. Drawers opening, bowls clattering as Alexander set them out. It was as good a time as any to come out. 

Ignoring the nervous feeling in his belly, John got up and pulled the door open as slowly as he could, only slightly, so that he could make out a little stripe of the apartment. The light was turned on over the couch, where Alexander stood with his back towards John, opening a box of food. Eliza was on the other side, laughing at some joke that he made. Her eyes flitted up, and her face brightened when they fell on John.

"John!" she said, smiling her pretty smile, causing Alexander to turn.

John returned the smile shyly.

"Hi," he said, lowering his eyes and stepping out of the bedroom. 

 "I picked up some egg rolls for you," she said, "Alexander told me they were your favorite."

"Egg rolls?"

John's eyebrows shot up and stepped out into the room to get a closer look at the food on the table. The boxes had been opened so that it could cool do, revealing that was inside. 

Eliza and Alexander giggled at his excitement. John blushed. 

"Should we queue up a movie?" asked Eliza, clasping her hands pleasantly. 

John started to nod, looking to Alexander.

"Yeah, in just a sec. Why don’t you go to my room and get ditch the work clothes while I help John with something in the bathroom first?”

John felt his stomach drop at the mention of his name. Eliza, on the other hand, seemed to find nothing strange about this.

“Alright,” she said cheerfully, grabbing her bag and heading towards the bedroom, “I’ll be out in just a second.”

“Great,” said Alexander, returning her smile and grabbing John’s arm to lead him into the bathroom next door. 

The moment he shut the door, he was met with hushed protest.

“Don’t want to,” said John, backing up against the wall, arms out defensively, “ _really_ don’t want to.”

His pleas didn’t seem to matter to Alexander, who merely clicked his tongue and opened up the cupboard doors regardless.

“John, you know you need pull-ups when you’re little. It’s not a big deal.”

He grabbed one from the shelf and turned to where John stood cowering beside the shower. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears, his lip quivering uncontrollably.

_(Don't you start crying)_

“Not while Liza’s here, Alex,” he said, “please.”

“Honey, she isn’t going to notice,” Alexander said sadly, stepping forward so that he could grab John’s shaky hands and give them a gentle squeeze, “and even if she does, it wouldn’t be nearly as bad as you having an accident in front of her, would it?”

John didn't want to answer. He knew that Alexander was probably right, but even acknowledging the question was a humiliation in itself.

_(Don't start crying - use words, goddamn it - )_

“Can you please, please, please do this for me? I promise, Eliza isn’t going to be upset by it, okay? And you don’t even have to use it!”

He sniffed, looking miserably at his boyfriend, who seemed unwilling to give up.

“Pleeeeeease?”

“Okay,” he relented at last, voice barely a whisper.

"Good boy."

Getting changed barely took any time at all once John had given up his fight.

_(This is disgusting - you're disgusting - can't even take care of yourself -)_

He shook his head, trying to cast the bad thoughts out of his mind. He let Alex finish, take him by the hand, and lead him back out into the living room, where Eliza was already waiting on the couch. Her pajamas were old fashioned: flannel, with while and purple stripes. They looked soft. 

He sat down between her and Alexander, pulling his legs up onto the cushion. Eliza looked up from her phone. 

"What movie?"

Alex looked to John, who shrugged. He wasn't supposed to whine. He was supposed to let grownups choose. 

"What about..." said Alexander, scrolling through a list on the screen, "Coco?"

He glanced at John and Eliza. Once again, John said nothing. Eliza, however, brightened.

"Sounds good to me," she said, "John?"

"I like Coco," he said quietly, though he couldn't suppress a small smile. 

It was one of his favorite movies. 

"Alright-"

Alexander clicked a button, and the screen changed. John scooted further into the couch, trying to get comfortable. His tummy bubbled impatiently, but he waited in silence as Alexander made him a plate at the coffee table. He accepted it eagerly when it was finished, eliciting another titter from Eliza. 

For the first fifteen minutes of the film, they ate in relative quiet, eyes fixed on the TV before them. Alexander reached over occasionally to help John pick up noodles with his fork (chopsticks seemed impossible right then), and John was grateful that Eliza didn't seem to notice. 

As he finished up his last egg roll, Alexander reached over to grab him empty plate and set it down, grabbing a couple of blankets from the floor. He passed one over to Eliza, and wrapped another around John's shoulders. 

Now cozy in the dark room, John wiggled slightly in his seat. Without food to play with, he felt more shyer than ever. He whined slightly and leaned into Alexander, trying to put his weight on his legs. 

"Honey, come on," said Alexander, almost laughingly, "you're too big to sit on my lap." 

He scooted away from John in an attempt to free himself. Once alone on his cushion, John pouted. 

_"Alex-"_

"Here, John," said Eliza, poking him in the sided to get his attention, "why don't you come and lay down on me?"

John looked at her, hopeful but disbelieving. There was no way she really wanted to... was there?

"...really?" he asked, voice small. 

She smiled kindly. 

"Of course."

With a cautious glance at Alexander, followed by an encouraging nod, John obliged, repositioning so that he could put his head on Eliza’s thigh. He lay down slowly, as if waiting for her approval.

“That’s it,” she said, causing him to relax in her lap.

She gently ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes, finally allowing himself to let go all the way. Eliza was a safe place. He was safe.

He kept still as Eliza’s hand travelled down from his head to the small of his back. She had longer nails than Alexander did, and they felt nice through his t-shirt.  

“Ah, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger now,” he heard him whisper from above, though not unkindly.

Eliza giggled in response.

“Sweet boy,” she murmured, “sweet boys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dudes, if you have any (nice) feedback or requests for future works, please leave me a comment!


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